Most of my life I had a distant and somewhat tense relationship with Mary, our Mother. I understood her importance as the mother of Jesus, but I never felt a connection—more the opposite, honestly. I thought of her as the perfect woman, perfect disciple, perfect mother. I was none of those things. I looked at her and felt judged.

A friend challenged me to consider Mary as a friend rather than an adversary, a mother rather than a judge. It took a while, but one day I was praying and something clicked—that some of my most God-drenched moments happened as a mother, and it must have been that way for her even more—she was mothering the messiah, the Son of God! As I considered that, I “turned” to Mary in my mind and said, “Look—I need to go to confession later today anyway. Would you help me out? Thanks.” That seemed to be well received and I went on with my day. I didn’t realize how significant that prayer would be. …