I love Confession. I will be the first to admit that it can be difficult to acknowledge my sins out loud; however, it is in the Sacrament of Penance that I have encountered the Lord’s mercy in a very profound and tangible way.
One Confession in particular occured at a time when I already had a very strong faith life, including regular prayer, daily Mass, and frequent reception of the Sacrament of Penance. However, I was struggling with a specific area in my life spiritually, and I was unable to put my finger on what was wrong.
Then the Holy Spirit struck: on the way home from a weekend retreat, the Lord showed me several things from my past which I had refused to deal with for years and even decades, because I was in denial and full of fear of judgement of others. I realized this baggage from my past was greatly weighing me down, and was negatively affecting my relationship with God and others.
I knew I needed to go to Confession, and that coming clean with the Lord would help me find healing, particularly in that area of my life with which I was especially struggling. Upon my arrival home, I wrote down all that the Lord had brought to the surface of my heart, made an appointment with a priest, and prayed, begging God to help me, because I knew this would be the hardest Confession of my life.
When the time came, I simply explained the situation to the priest and honestly and candidly poured out all that had been burdening me for so long. I sobbed much of the way through my 1 ½ hour Confession, but the Holy Spirit helped me the whole time, giving me the words to say and the courage to say them. And the priest received me with such patience and mercy, listening to everything without judging or making light of what I said. I truly felt like the woman caught in adultery in the Gospel, to whom Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and sin no more.”
Immediately after the words of absolution were prayed over me, I burst into tears once again, but this time the tears were not of guilt or shame, but tears of relief, because I felt such a sense of freedom. I no longer felt weighed down by my past, for I had tangibly experienced Christ’s mercy and love.
I still frequent the Sacrament of Confession on a regular basis, but that one particular encounter with Christ in the confessional literally changed my life. By bringing my sins, wounds, and brokenness to the light and opening myself to Christ’s healing and forgiveness, I am now more at peace with God, myself, and others. I am still a work in progress, but I am forever grateful for God’s patience and mercy that I have found in the Sacrament of Penance.
Leandra Hubka, Winona, MN